my. splendid. experience.: A Shame.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Shame.

Yesterday, oh yesterday. Not my day. I was so impatient, with EVERYONE. And after the fact I feel really horrible about it. I really do. I think for the most part I have been a very easy to get along with... easy going person here and no one is used to seeing that side of me. But yesterday I was easily irritated with everything and everyone. Even the kids. Which is really sad. My lessons went miserable. I snapped at Abby for something I wasn't even right for. I got in a really ridiculous argument with Jaimie for something silly and I wish I hadn't. I feel awful. I apologized for all of it but still. I don't want to be that kind of person. Ever again. I feel awful at the thought of even being that way around these girls. I want to be someone they look up to and want to be like. But we're human and we all make mistakes. I just hope I don't make one like that again.

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A list of my favorites... created in China, inspired by Abby. Made to add to.

snuggling into a warm bed on a cold cold night, soft serve vanilla ice cream, ripples in water, having butterflies (not the animal), being speechless, playing the piano, listening to the piano, photographing life's special moments, smiling, laughing so hard you cry, sneezing, speaking another language not your native tongue to a native speaker, bay windows, pressed flowers, outbursts of song, barefoot on freshly cut grass, overcast days, organization, romances, porch swings, cool breeze on a summer day, coincidences, sunsets, early morning runs, running to not miss the bus, tender mercies, an early start, skype-ing family across the world, reminiscing about old times, memories, stories, etc., dim lights in a dark room, coconut yogurt in china, laying on the sidewalk drying off in the summer time, sunday walks, cleanliness, inside jokes, clean sheets, developing film in a dark room, long hugs...with certain people, swimming at night, coconut bread (in china), bread in China in general, waking up to the rain, being sore after working out, hammocks, screen doors, walking into screen doors, awkward eye-contact, winks, laugh attacks that almost hurt and feel like you've just had an ab work-out, heartfelt talks, constructive criticism, movie quotes, “whatever makes your boat float.”, a warm towel just out of the dryer, saying a phrase, and having you and everyone around you parallel it to a song and burst out in song., Big kitchens that can be the gathering place and the place for many memories to be made, singing, singing LOUD, Singing a song you don't know... making up words as you go., Picniks, temple walks, wind, thunder storms, rain downpours, music, bleach pens, the smell of new born babies, an infants cry, impressions from the Spirit, eating with chopsticks, phase 10, traveling, evening summer hikes, views of the city from a higher point, Korean Air, Parachute... the band, cleaninng to blasting music, bike rides, temple baptisms, temple weddings, wedding receptions, birds chirping, the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, waking up to the weed wacker and/or lawn mower early on a Saturday morning, Freshly made cinnamon rolls, Enjoying a storm from your deck, the way you feel after working out, washed feet, clean socks, Hot Potts, Surprise Birthday Parties...especially when it's not really your birthday, Fresh Flowers , the smell of Lillies, hand pulled noodles, bartering in China, The Muslim Quarter, LOVE , Bullet Trains, smiling at a stranger, getting a smile in return, special places :),inside jokes, cheesecake, laying out feeling the sun on your skin, a harmonized hymn, a good hair day, complimenting someone who needs it, giving to the needy, Yangshuo mountains, muddy bike rides, yangshuo crepe breakfast, chey kelly, stretching, soccer, hanging out with my mom, hanging out with all of my siblings. Watermelon in summertime. Skinny sharpie pens, harmonized hymns, a made bed, words of our Prophets, Conference, rearranging furniture, cleaning parties, a clean home, Buddy the Elf, evening walks, sitting/running/standing in the pouring rain- feeling the water just drench you and drip off your nose, learning to speak a different language, the what if game, bridges, gates, doors, my China kids, Zhongshan,